this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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