If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
