Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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