actually, I'm a sock model
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Is it because I queefed?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize