Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
