Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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