PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
