Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
