I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
