The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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