Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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