After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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