There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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