and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
