why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
