It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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