Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
