dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
