2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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