got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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