and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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