she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Dating After Heartbreak
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.