Texts From Last Night

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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head

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  (262): i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head http://tfl.nu/xp32
  Replies (22) Good night (4767) Bad night (1145)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.

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  (310): He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical. http://tfl.nu/e9fk
  Replies (12) Good night (4534) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.

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  (910): shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose. http://tfl.nu/5ocp
  Replies (2) Good night (1530) Bad night (2419)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.

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  (+44): Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS. http://tfl.nu/15we
  Replies (16) Good night (1741) Bad night (3480)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.

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  (216): My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak. http://tfl.nu/lf5p
  Replies (2) Good night (1001) Bad night (1794)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.

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  (724): Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex. http://tfl.nu/opu2
  Replies (11) Good night (4105) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.

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  (210): If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever. http://tfl.nu/5js7
  Replies (8) Good night (4330) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse

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  (602): hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse http://tfl.nu/qtc9
  Replies (7) Good night (2303) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.

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  (902): I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged. http://tfl.nu/u3dy
  Replies (5) Good night (1006) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse

  (1-916): View more from California

  People like that make this world a better place.

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  (916): this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse (1-916): People like that make this world a better place. http://tfl.nu/pvsx
  Replies (3) Good night (1791) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.

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  (812): Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible. http://tfl.nu/givh
  Replies (3) Good night (514) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!

  (818): View more from California

  Were you keeping a list?

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  (339): Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues! (818): Were you keeping a list? http://tfl.nu/r5wn
  Replies (2) Good night (1071) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean

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  (518): I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean http://tfl.nu/nhpo
  Replies (2) Good night (1661) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?

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  (631): are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ? http://tfl.nu/6snf
  Replies (7) Good night (1046) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers

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  (412): I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers http://tfl.nu/enl0
  Replies (2) Good night (782) Bad night (379)

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