Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch

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(651): View more from Minnesota

She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."

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You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(918): View more from Oklahoma

I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.

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(815): View more from Illinois

All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?

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