Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?