i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
