Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die