you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!