BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt