the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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