Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.