I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!