now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
