So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
