I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
