She is in my trunk
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
