I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
