the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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