So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
