She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize