OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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