At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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