How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
