why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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