I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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