My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
