he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
