yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
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Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
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I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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