Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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