I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Drunk is not a location!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
