ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
A+ Viking dick
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
