Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
there was a trapeze. enough said
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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