He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
