Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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