i can't believe i had my finger in that
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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