I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
