Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My vagina is officially offended.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
