i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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