i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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