you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
