I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
