How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
