And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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