What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
