ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
