Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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