So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
