I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
