I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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