Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
